Goola Goola

General Knowledge

Goola-Goola are indigenous to the planet Gnoosie in the Heinock star cluster of Ursa Major. Goola-Goola’s are a deep shade of purple, bordering on violet. They grow long beards ranging in color from white to deep red. The sterotype of this race is that of a hyper-cranky being which are always serious, seeing life as if through the eyes of someone who is perpetually constipated. They are forever miserable, and whine incessantly.

The beard is revered. Goola-Goola wear their beards long, usually dragging along the ground. The more twigs, leaves, and other assorted natural things that one has in one’s beard, the more respect one garners.

Although Goola love mechanical and other devices, they are in awe of nature. Probably because they are so incompetent within the biological realm, they consider nature magical. Thus, they love the forest and the wilderness.


If you don’t consider individuals strange when they pass out because someone handed them a weird screwdriver, then you’ve got a problem. Real quirks: The Goola-Goola drink more than Orions and love Nectar of the Ram. The problem is that they can’t handle alcohol very well and tend to get “blasted.”

Physiological Makeup

Goola-Goola are short, stout beings, carrying massive, wide muscular frames. Their squat stature is a result of evolution on a high gravity planet. Thus, they are incredibly strong and sturdy. On the other hand, they are not very agile.

Goola are herbivores, preferring a diet of Buldas Berries (cranberry-equivalents) and other root foods. The Goola-Goola obtain nourishment through vegetables and complex carbohydrates. Goola rave about Earth pasta which is considered a Goola-Goola delicacy. They are unable to digest meat products: eating such food makes them blow chunks!

Goola have short life spans, normally between 60-80 years. They mate constantly, finding great pleasure in this pastime. The females carry their young for 6 months before giving birth.

©2011 AVPI, ©1992 SSDC, Inc., Art by Matt Olson.

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